Soul Aloha Grandma
Updated: Dec 3, 2019
What does it mean when someone leaves this plane of existence?
I can't say that I really know what's next. I choose to believe that the Soul journeys further but I've lived enough to know that I'm still learning and though I've encountered death in many forms over the years, there is much more of it I will encounter and learn more from.
Each experience of it hits a little deeper than the last.
I've come to view Death as change, and change isn't exactly easy. But it helps me to view Death as change, and perhaps the purpose of it when souls leave the body is a deepening of our awareness of Love.
My Grandma passed earlier this month. She lived to be 93 years old. A long and beautiful Life lived.
You can't separate me from the exploration of spirituality and though baptized Catholic, and went to Catholic school and church for many years, I struggled with the limitations of that particular faith because of my Grandma. She hadn't been baptized herself but was such a sweet lady, that as a youth, I would not, and could not believe that God would deny someone like that.
My own studies of scripture, how it has spoken to me over the years, have given me reason to believe this Life is All by design.
Through my Love for this Grandma and family, coupled with disagreements with man's limited interpretation of God, I have been led to find out (ongoing) more about what I believe in - Aloha ke Akua, God is Love. The power of Death for those of us who remain is that should we allow, it can open us to experience even more of such Love.
I've heard it said, how special grandparents are, and that is so true. As I journaled to reflect on this newest experience with the loss of a Loved one, it hit me how fortunate my Life has been because I got to have experiences and create memories with each of my grandparents. Just as I was born without wisdom teeth, not everyone gets to be so lucky...
When I saw Grandma for the last time, as I said goodbye, I couldn't help but thank her, tell her I love her, and cry. With Grandma's departure, the realization of that generation of my family no longer physically walking, hit very deeply.
I seek Truth, and as a result need to understand my experiences. Yet the journey as it unfolds continues to reveal spaces where I am unable to explain beyond the fact that what I feel is Love, which is why I believe in God.
Love for the preciousness of Life.
Love for all of my 'ohana, loved ones, and fellow travelers sharing Life's Road.
Love for The Creator and Creation.
And I'm just in gratitude to be able to feel such a powerful feeling.
I think and hope my Grandma will be remembered for a great many things. She had the most natural smile! She Loved everyone in our family and if you knew how challenging my Grandfather could be, you'd understand how epic that type of presence is/was/will be. For that, she was like an angel in my Dad's life.
She was also a phenomenal baker and cook, who gave the greatest of hugs!
But when I think of her, what I'll cherish most the overarching theme of who she was:
One of the kindest people I'll ever know in this Life.
The last time I stayed with her before she could no longer live on her own due to Alzheimer's and dementia, she didn't remember who I was. Here's the thing though, it didn't matter. All that mattered to her was that she enjoyed our time together and that she was glad to meet and get to know 'such a nice young man' who I had grown into. My trials and triumphs in Life up until that time had no bearing, she just saw me, as she saw me and it was a moment, and a lesson, that I'll forever cherish.
And that was liberating
My Grandma was a real one and will be missed. I am grateful for the time we shared, I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to say thank you, I love you, and good bye, and I'm happy that her Soul now flies free.
Mahalo ke Akua