It’s now been over six months since Dad passed away and I/We think about him everyday.
The experience of grief is still much like the ocean, the waves of which are a mix of flows, the steady washing I’ve grown accustomed to, though the intense ebbs are still jarring. Like walking on a boat for the first time, walking in general I imagine as I don’t recall my first steps, it takes getting used to.
And it’s odd to get used to.
When people tell you it gets easier, that’s strange. What exactly is easier?
I’m not lamenting in that question, more open reflection time.
If anything it gets different and realistically, it’s probably different for each no matter the backdrop bc for some, just going through a day is a challenge. Add in pandemic, potential economic collapse, ongoing social justice divide, arguments over climate change, idiot elected officials/poor choices yet again, insert here, and no wonder there be challenges making it through a day.
And I do believe that very much is okay, bc the experience of loss is different for we are different and the Journey is each our own bc of who we are and where we find ourselves in Life.
If anything, I double down on the Journey over the destination model coupled with the importance of To Live, Love, Aloha and I feel gratitude for the learning. Maybe in that case, getting to that place has gotten easier bc my resistance to Loss, allowing its place in Life, and not being attached or detached to it, is what’s gotten easier. The Loss is what it is, if anything how I process has changed bc it’s had to. I’ve had to change to be a better human + being.
I’m thinking out loud here so if you’ve read this far, that’s all it is. Just working to be the best I can each day bc Dad taught me to do my best, even if my best was better some days than others.
Love and Aloha Dad! ❤️🤙
Peace and Magic! ✌️🦄